Posted by Mindy1718 on 2015/01/21 under Uncategorized There was a slight hint of not going to college. A bright happiness that was going to get out of the way of this dream. Oh what a life! There’s a sadly but true thing that I am going to college. The hope of not going was so thrilling but life had turned my own desires aside once again. The world wants to be mean to me. Haha. Just kidding (half kidding)! A freshman in college on her second term that wishes to work rather than go to college. Why is that? It just doesn’t feel as important than other things in life. College doesn’t seem to be a first priority for some odd reason. But financial aid can only go so far. Having a job with more responsibility feels better for me. Having to forget the things that wish to be forgotten would be when multitasking. Doing things until I forget wouldn’t be so bad but forgetting would just be the same. Overall it doesn’t matter. Breathe in, breathe out! Think of happy thoughts but it seems so hard when most of the things in life seem bad around myself. Well… It’s not like I’m dead anyways. My life isn’t as hard as some people. Envy wraps itself on me when I see too much happy people. Sickening the feeling inside my stomach because that true feeling of knowing that everything is going to be okay has never always been there. Growing up in life seeing children near you suffer isn’t a good sight. Teaching the fundamentals of life is what I like but they have to learn to hard in life… The little things don’t worry me but the future scares me I guess? Having to think about it gives me chills, not knowing what’s coming is frightening to me. Living in the present is what I inspire to live by. Doing things one step at a time. So many things to say but not describable right? Who knows for sure what I want? I change so often that it confuses me to know what I truly desire sometimes. Gotta find out sooner or later right? Might as well think about it slowly. College might change me who knows? Or maybe I could actually work where I want to! That would be nice! Hopefully I could do so many things that could make myself feel accomplished! Time changes so often that it probably doesn’t know what it’s doing either. Makes me laugh how much life could be so ugly yet beautiful. Well, hopefully I get to live that beautiful life some day with the loved ones of mine.