Posted by Anonymous on 2013/02/25 under Uncategorized We were the perfect couple. Flirty and cheeky, living life enjoy each others company. I woke up and slept with a smile. After moving in together looking after his son as a family, holidays and adventures reality kicked and everything messed up. We argued, we had tears and anger. We spent hours talking about breaking up. It suddenly didnt work anymore. He stopped loving me. A year passed and after spending my birthday in tears we decide to end it to stop the misery. Only problem is since that day a month has gone by and I’m in more misery. I’ve lost my best friend, my love, my shoulder to cry on, my advisor, my son, my family, my life and my soul. I’ve tried to move on and not care and know its for the best but I have spent every second thinking about him, wanting to see him and crying endlessly. I feel lost and alone. I’m angry and stroppy. I just want to get a baseball bat out and smash my head in to stop the thoughts and pain. We’ve spoken. Well I’ve poured my heart put to him and he’s sat and said I don’t miss you I don’t want you I don’t need you. Funny I feel all the opposites to him. He’s at the gym, out with friends, laughing on Facebook and I’m sat in tear soaked tops hoping for a saviour. I know inside me were never going to happen again. He doesn’t want it. He says he cares he wants to be my friend but when I ask for his help he just pushes me lower to the ground. We haven’t spoken. And when I walk in the room I’m invisible. My heart is broken. I’m stupidly in love with him and I can’t shake my feelings. I want to I want to move on I want to not want him. I can’t sleep in my bed. Because it was our bed. Getting dressed is hard. That was our wardrobe. I can’t eat food because I cooked that with him. So now I’ve decided to leave. To jet off to Africa for a month. To forget to not feel this way. I hope that will cure my ridiculous obsession with this man I am in love with. You would think after how he treats me I could say f*** off but no I scream out for him to love me. He’s happy without me. Now I’ve got to find happiness without him. I believe that you should have four things in life to be faithful to. Truth freedom beauty and love. So I guess this means i know the truth ( he doesn’t want me) therefore I need my freedom now to not be attached to him. Then I will see beauty in myself and the world and hopefully I can then love again. I guess the greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.