Posted by Anonymous on 2013/01/29 under Uncategorized today was okay trying to work on my body but I don’t think it is working but working out just makes me fill so good even when it hurts legg cramps heart beating fast and the filling I can’t explain I just want the sweat to come and come and come I see all these men and they look good smell good what am I going to do because I refuse to have sex I mean I want some a lot of sex but not today I just want to exercise and work my body that way sex would be nice but I had the house for like a month and got no freaking sex got to suck a little for like two minutes one time and that was all and after that I said no f*** sex if I can’t have it when I need it and after all these years of no freaking sex then I guess I will just have to go on forever with out sex dang cause I like love sex but I am not going to beg a man to hump me even if I need him to and want him to I think we both have to want to do it in order for it to fill good I don’t know if I am ever going to have sex again and that’s okay just let me finish taking care of my family and working out every chance I get and smoke and drink and believe with in my heart that GOD is proud of all his children that are trying through it all and trying to stay positive I am trying to go shopping for my self cause I am wearing my mom clothes and I need some clothes of my own plus I want to get my hair done I think I just want to treat my self for once it would be nice to have a dude to get all dolled up for but hay I am trying to do this make over for my self to see my body in clothes that fit me shoes that fills good to my feet all the time I know I can’t save up my money for that cause things keep coming up and I have to pay more money so my stuff have to wait I am cool with that cause just like sex it must not be my turn yet or I am being over looked as usual taking care of my family helps me get through the days but some times it just tires me out like take all my energy and at times I fill like I have nothing left but I have to keep going oh yeah donta said that if I cook for him he would eat my cooking I like that because I like to cook for people just trying to make every body stomach smile yeah but to all look at your self and love what you see …..