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Posted by on 2012/05/19 under Uncategorized

Why do you contradict yourself? First Point. A while ago you would always text me during your lunch period. Small conversations. The past month or so, you’ve been barely texting me during lunch. Why? Its LUNCH. What’ stopping you from texting me during your free period? I asked why, and you said its ‘rude to text in front of one person’. Okay. Fair enough. It makes sense after all!

-Today, you were hanging out with another person, he’s a pretty cool kid. You were texting me a lot, actually. I felt bad, seeing that you were only with one person, I didn’t want you to be rude. I told you to go hang out with him and that I’d talk to you later. “Nah” You reply. NAH? Listen. You made it pretty clear before that you’re not cool with texting in front of one person because it’ impolite. You’re doing it now. It’s okay to be rude to him but not her? Now that I think about it, you text her all the time when you’re just with me. ONE PERSON. Why? Why do different rules apply to her? I know she’s you’re best friend and has been for a long, long time. However, this does not allow for such hypocritical behavior. I’m your girlfriend, you can make an exception for me here or there. It’s only texting after all.

Second Point. If I even mentioned possibly hanging out, you’d drop everything to hang out with me. Work, friends, you name it. I was your first priority. It was really very sweet, I didn’t except you to be such a good boyfriend. But now you say to me that you’re going to hang out with your other friends (where the term ‘friends’ usually means ‘her’) because you see me all the time. Okay. Fair enough. Except for the fact that I always TELL you to hang out with your other friends. I have other friends too and I miss out on their fun s*** too when I hang out with you. You don’t have to go and make me feel bad about keeping you from your friend. I actually TELL you to go hang out with other people. I try to help you balance your friend to girlfriend ratio. Maybe I AM restrain you too much, I really try not to though, okay?

-Today for example, my friend was watching her science teacher’s baby duck for the weekend. I told you about it days ago, and you told me you wanted to see the duck really badly. Here’s your chance! You couldn’t though, because you said you were going to hang out with your friend. “I’m going to see you all weekend” You replied. Okay sir, I was only staying at my friends house for a half hour. I had other plans after seeing the duck, plans NOT involving you. plans involving other people. This wasn’t going to be a whole day’s ordeal. I understand though, maybe you had the plans ahead of time. You SHOULD hang out with your friend, after all you wouldn’t see her all weekend. I offered you to come for only two minutes after school ended if you wanted to see the baby duck before I helped my friend transport it to her car. TWO. MINUTES. After two minutes, you could have met up with your friend and walked home. Hell, your friend could have CAME and seen the duck for herself. Two minutes from your friend won’t kill anyone. No, of course you wouldn’t ask her to go. because GOD FORBID i EVER hang out with your friends. Another thing I don’t understand. We’ve been together for half a year, and we’ve known each other very well long BEFORE dating. You’d think maybe once you’d offer me to hang out with your friends. No. God forbid I even talk to them, I guess. You hang out with my friends and everyone has a great time. Why can’t it be the same with your friends? Is it because they’re a grade above us? So what they’re seniors? That doesn’t mean I never get to meet them. After six months, I never even got introduced. What did I even DO? But now I’m getting off topic, back to the duck story. Of course the duck issue turns back against me. I ask if you want to come and see the duck for a quick two minutes. “I’ll go if you want me to go.” You replied. What the actual f***. What is that even supposed to mean. If I want YOU to go? YOU wanted to see the duck so badly, please don’t turn this back on me. After you told me I’m taking you away from your friend, I’m not going to just keep you from her. I was trying to do you a favor. I felt bad enough that I keep you from your friend, and now this. You don’t have to see the duck, its okay.

Prom. We weren’t going to junior prom at first. Last minute I found out a LOT of my friends with going, people you were friendly with. You weren’t too fond of the idea, but you agreed because it was something I wanted to do. About a month later, you told me you were going to senior prom with her, your friend. It hurt. I was upset. I knew I shouldn’t be upset, i KNEW it, and I tryed very hard not to be, but sometimes you simply can’t help what you feel. For a couple of days, I was pretty bummed about it. Why? You were just going as friends! I should be HAPPY for you, right?! She’s you’re BEST friend and you were just helping her out because she had nobody to go with. I shouldn’t be upset, It’s not fair to you. You kept asking if I was alright with it, and finally I told you how I felt. However, I only told you that it was a slap to the face at first, but I was okay with it now. I knew I shouldn’t have told you how I felt. You asked your friend to find someone else, and that you’d only go if there was absolutely nobody else. No. I kept telling you to go, I’d be fine. You’d have a great night! No. You insisted on not going to senior prom. I felt really badly, and I still do. Another thing I’m just keeping you from. This is probably why she doesn’t like me. Did you stop texting me at lunch around this time? I think so. I’m sorry she probably doesn’t like me. I still kept telling you to go, she needed someone after all. Senior prom hasn’t happened yet, and I hope, I really hope that you go. I really wasn’t trying to hold you back from anything, I was just trying to tell you how I felt.

Drinking. I’d drink a couple of times a month with my friends. We’d be in other towns, with other people, sometimes strange guys. You’d tell me about the drunk calls i’d give you, before and during the time we’re dating. I’d tell you how guys would come onto me but I always, always refused to do ANYTHING with them. I thought you’d be angry and not trust me. But no. You were great about it. You completely trusted me and thought the calls were hilarious. Then finally, you started drinking too! Shots anyone? Not right away. You’d always drink with her, not me. Just her. Nobody else. I asked why we never drank together, yo said you’re afraid to. Why? You’re “afraid of what you’ll say and you have no filter” is there something I should know? Something you won’t tell me? You assured me there is nothing, but what am I supposed to think. It worries me a little.

I don’t know what I should do. I’m afraid if I bring this up, I’d sound like a controlling freak of a girlfriend. I know you love me very much and would never ever ever cheat on me, but look at it from my point of view. Please. I don’t want you to change anything you’re doing, you SHOULD hang out with your friends, especially your best one, but I’m sorry, it kind of hurts. It hurts that I really want to say something to you, but I don’t know how to go about doing so. I probably sound like an obsessive maniac right now, but I overthink things. I can’t help it, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better, I will.

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