Posted by Anonymous on 2015/07/20 under Uncategorized I had turned off my laptop and was laying in my bed ready to fall asleep a little earlier than I usually do over summer. Sidenote: I’m 15 very close to 16 and am on summer break. Also, I am incredibly close with my gma, and my mom. My grandma takes on the “father role” which my actual father sucks at filling (haven’t seen him since I was like 3). Anyway, out of NO WHEREEE.. I remembered that I never said goodnight to my grandma. My mom is still awake at this point but my grandma was in bed. This feeling about this subject has never ever come over me, especially this strong before. But as I thought about how I forgot to say a simple little “goodnight”, this little feeling became incredibly overwhelming in a matter of seconds. The next thing I remember doing was shooting upright to now a sitting position with my eyes tearing up. I was tunning through my mind “what if” situations. Like:
What if she goes to work in the morning and somethin happens. A car crash.. Something. Anything. And I never see her again.
Then the thought of me telling my children or grandchildren exactly what my grandmother tells me about people she adored: “Oh, they would’ve loved you. If only they werw still here to meet you..”
After thinking this, I was bawling like a baby. It’s been 15 minutes since and I’ve hardly calmed down.
I’m terrified for tomorrow.
And the next day..
And what it will be like the day I lose my grandmother and mother.