Posted by Anonymous on 2015/06/05 under Uncategorized I should be sleeping, but I can’t. I just spend all my time obsessing over my failed relationships. And I’m only in college, I know I have plenty of time but I always see so much potential and then the relationship ends and I just feel this overwhelming hollowness. Seriously, I’ve had three boyfriends in the past 6 months. The first one dumped me out of nowhere after a year and a half and refused to explain why or even talk to me. It’s been six months since we’ve talked and this is a guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Don’t get me wrong, we needed to break up but he handled it horribly and treated me like s***. And that’s when my depression spiraled out of control. Then I dated this wonderful guy who was never going to anything more than a casual relationship and that was fine. He was sweet and sensitive and exactly what I needed at the time but there was just no future for us and that was fine. Especially since I met another guy while we were dating. Nothing happened until we broke up, but something about this new guy just drew me to him and I have no idea what it was. We were both dating other people and flirted shamelessly. We broke up with our other people on the same day and got together that evening. It felt like we could do anything together. I felt so good about it despite some hurdles. I really f***ing cared about him. I told him I loved him after like two weeks. He said it too. We never f***ed, we only ever made love. And I really hate that term but it was true. It was some f***ing whirlwind romance. And he had never been in love before or been in a serious relationship so I know it was hard to figure it out but we were working on it and we were good together. Of course I saw some issues. He was sometimes immature and wouldn’t listen when I told him to stop and partied too much but he was a college dude. I figured once he had “settled down” he would grow up. Apparently not because we were only dating for a month and a half when he broke it off because he said he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and was scared about the future….and again I found myself dumped out of nowhere. Again, it’s for the best but I still feel so f***ing lonely and unwanted. Why do I always get so stupidly hopeful?? He’s also so f***ing selfish because when I asked him to drop off my stuff he literally left it outside my door because it would hurt him too much to see me. Like the f***er broke up with me and doesn’t have the balls to face me for thirty seconds. Honestly I don’t know what to do about him but it feels really good to get it out.