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Posted by on 2015/05/06 under Uncategorized

What if my mother would like that kid more than me, her own daughter. Would she cry more if that kid was dead than when I, her own daughter was dead. What if my stepdad would hit my little brother again, should I do anything, what if I was too weak. What if we are all just lab rats, what if the world would end tomorrow, what if I would commit suicide. Why are we even alive. What is this. What if a zombie apocalypse would start tomorrow, what if everyone would die. What if I would never see my biological dad. What if he already was dead. How many half sisters and brothers do I have. Why didn’t I commit suicide already. Why am I still alive. What if my thoughts would eat my brains. What if I got cancer. What if the doctor would say to me that I would be dead in a month. What if someone will rape me. What if the universum was fake. What if some sort of powerful group of humans would be planning some sort of thing to kill us all. What if Hitler was in a team with all the kings and queens and presidents and stuff on the world. They all survived it, all those kings, queens and presidents, they weren’t cruelly killed like all those poor people. Are we really free? We have taxes and work, studies, school, people to take care off, children, husbands, women, family, friends, money, food, a house, cleaning, cooking etc. our whole life, there will always be a war, there will always be sorrow and pain, there will always be people who hurt you, everybody is an emotional wreck. I’m sure that nobody could look me in the eyes and say without lying “I swear that I am truly happy, I have no sorrow no pain, there is nobody who hurts me, not even a little bit, there is nothing that bothers me, I swear I am happy and grateful to be alive.” Bweh, just needed this off my mind.

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