Posted by Anonymous on 2015/04/16 under Uncategorized Ok, so as a teenage girl I have been through a lot. I am not 13. I am almost 20 now. I have had one boyfriend that I am scared my prents might find out because i come from a very conservative background and my boyfriend was from another religion. I used to be an average girl but now i gained around 20 kgs and i hate my self. I feel fat and undesirable. I see how people look at me. It makes me angry, they have these looks of pitty or disgust on their faces and that gives shame to me. I know what being fat is. I was an obese kid till the age of 15. I lost all the weight really quickly again because of this same look, and thus my body is now full of strech marks.
I am in ky very own place. I dont like the college major i ak in. I study for hours and days and my grades are average, this also angers me i have always been an A student, one that other parents would tell their kids to be like, except for my parents who always wanted more. I always feel the need to cry, I am fat, failing, ugly and undesirable. Inhate everything about that. I know some people’s problems might be greater than this, but that doesn’t cut down any bit of my tragedy. Belive me when i say it is pain that I feel, pain that makes yu need to cry. When doctors don’t hear my answers in class or when i say good morning to someone and they do not reply that all adds to my troubles, they create even deeper holes in my self esteem.
My days are full of routine, the deadly one that doesn’t allow you to think, until it is night when I have stories that i need to share but i cant beacuse no one has time for me. Everyone has their boyfriends or girlfriends and its just me. Only me. I hate myself. I really really do.
And I don’t know what to do or how to handle this .
2 thoughts on “Messed up Big Time”
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Don’t say that. Don’t hate yourself. You have to be your priority. I have stretch big and awful marks too, the first thing people told me when they see me is about how I’m more fat than before. I’m sick of this so I stop caring about them. You can start a healthy diet or something but NEVER feel bad because what people think about you. You will never be alone. x
B
To start of,you’ve had a boyfriend,i’ve never had a significant other.Maybe i haven’t tried,or maybe i’m to shy of a guy.
Im 22.And yeah my grades are pretty average too.But to say i’m ok with that will be lying,but whatever i get,i try to put in a little more effort to increase it by 1% everytime.It’s small,but gradually,i’ll get there 🙂
And weight.dude.i love food.and i bet everybody does.for my age and height,i’m overweight.and i have stretch marks too.lol and i’m a guy.
mum says cream helps.but bleh.ain’t nodboy got time for that 😛
I’ve handled depression for 4 years.i’ve had no friends in school because some people made up rumors that i slept with other girls and forced them to have sex.
sad truth is,if your a shy guy and you’ve got no one but yourself to back you up against a crowd,it probably seems right to people.they hear what they want to hear.
So was pretty low on the self esteem too.hi5!
To the point i used to cut myself.So my dear friend,i’ve had my days when i felt like a blackhole sucking itself up.
I’ve never had a girlfriend.i don’t know what its like to have been kissed or argued with or compromise for.and for some reason,i never missed it.
I learned to take everything in slowly.one step at a time.i got over depression.made awesome friends over the years and convinced myself that as long as i see the sunrise next morning,i’d try making a better version of me.
You’ve lived through 20 years girl.Give yourself credit.
Hope it helps 🙂