Posted by Anonymous on 2015/04/15 under Uncategorized April 15, 2015 8:02 pm Sometimes I get really sad and down about myself. I find it so hard to let go of past failures that I can’t see a bright future. These feelings only come in spells, and they are soul-crushing and devastating. I don’t let myself feel like I deserve my accomplishments. I got straight A’s? Yeah that’s only because I’m taking an online class and they’re easier than live classes. Somebody likes me? Yeah that’s only because they don’t really know me yet. These conversations I have with myself are unhealthy. And although I know that everyone feels this way, I feel like nobody else does. Failures are learning experiences in disguise. That’s something we all need to remember. That’s something I struggle with on a daily basis. I was given a great opportunity once, and I feel I really failed at it. And why did I fail? Because I got distracted by a boy, of course. I kept this failure inside, until one day I let it out. The person I told didn’t even seemed phased. “You’re young,” she said. “You can learn from this and not make the same mistake again.” I didn’t understand. Something I had perseverated on for so long, being explained to me so simply. I almost wanted her to be mad at me about the failure because I felt that’s what I deserved. But she knew better; she’s older and wiser, and knows failures don’t usually stick with you for very long. Coming back from failure is about moments. You have to think back to moments where you didn’t feel like a failure. Moments where you felt so great about yourself and about life. Moments that were filled with hope and happiness. For me this is easy. These moments happened on my aunt’s couch while we were laughing and watching tv. A moment happened when a little kid at work told me they loved me. It happened when my first boyfriend hugged me on the slide in eighth grade, and I felt like he would never let go. It happened many times when my high school best friend and I drove around at night blasting the music and singing loudly with the windows down. It happened during the summers when I was a little kid, before my parents were divorced, and I would spend my days eating fudgesicles and playing on my swingset with my parents. Take these moments, these feelings of exuberance, and compare them to your failures. They make your failures small. So small. Nobody is a failure, but we all fail. Everybody has moments. We’re blessed this way. Thank God for the moments, and move past the failures. Even tonight, after having a bad day, I’m thinking back through my moments and a smile is forming on my face. Moments help. We all deserve them.