Posted by Anonymous on 2014/12/23 under Uncategorized I ran away from a wonderful home when I turned 18. I did it because my family was moving to another state, and I could not bear to loose my first love. Almost 3 years later, I am still with him. But my relationship with my mom is not in a healthy spot. I love her so much and do regret the way that I did things. But I know that if I admit that she will ask me to move back home. And I can’t bear to tell her no again. I miss her and my brother and her husband everyday. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. Sometimes, I still do. But she thinks I don’t care. That all I care about is the boy. On the phone, a few minutes ago, she was telling me how horrible I am because I wasn’t there during her surgery, and that I won’t be there for Christmas or new year’s. She doesn’t realize I took up a second job to raise enough money to bring them here for the holidays. She doesn’t realize that the money I was saving up for that was the money I gave her to pay for the surgery. She tells me I’m never there for her. And that’s true. But, I try my hardest to do what I can for them. I work very hard to give them whatever they need, should they ever ask. I love them so much. And it kills me that I can’t be there for my mom or to see my brother grow up. But I’m trying. I really am. There’s no need to tell me that I’m crap and that the person I’m with is too. There’s no need to use your words to make me want to hurt myself. You’re the person I always listen to. Anything you say will be stuck in my mind forever. Please don’t let your words be the ones that cause me pain. I know I’ve done that to you. But please don’t do that to me too. I am trying to make amends in any way I can. I could wring out my shirt from all the tears you’ve made me cry tonight. And the worst part is, that you’re still the one I want to talk to about it.