Posted by Anonymous on 2014/07/05 under Uncategorized I feel like I’m always the one that gets left out, sometimes because I’m away doing something with my family, but other times its because im simply not good enough to invite.
I dont really have anyone to blame but myself. Im not funny, pretty, outgoing like all my friends are (all 3 of them). Boys have only ever seen me as friend and only ever will. Im not attractive in any way, im the dumbest f***ing s***, i feel like im failing all my subjects and if someone compliments me (aka my mum) i know theyre lying to make me feel better.
I hate myself. I wish i was skinnier, prettier, and more outgoing. Maybe then people would start talking to me first or who know maybe even invite me to hang outs. Recently Ive tried to loose weight and it sorta worked a but i guess but not to the amount i wanted. Now its summer and i know that im going to pig out maybe a bit too much just because i like food too much and now im failing that too. I also recently got braces, so i am constantly pulling myself away from actually smiling, because braces look horrible. I feel like a terrible friend as well, i feel like i fail to comfort them or make them feel better when they need it, and fail to give them any good advice. This more than annoys or hurts me because my nature is to make people happy and if i cant do that then whats the point in me even being here?
I have to hide that fact that all this breaks me to the core all day and everyday, and one day i swear im going to break, but no one will care enough to try and fix all the broken pieces
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That’s exactly how I feel. It sucks when you try to make everyone happy but you know you can’t and you can’t even make yourself happy. And it’s hard when everyone else is a certain way like outgoing, and you’re not. It makes things really difficult. It frustrates me everyday too. I feel like one day ill break down too.