Posted by Anonymous on 2013/08/28 under Uncategorized I am worthless, I came to this answer after my third life contemplating session after school. And it’s true. I know, half of you are about to say your not worthless, or to be myself, Etc. and several of you are going to say ‘stop faking for attention and Etc. but I am. I am good at literally nothing. I can’t draw, write, sing dance, play a sport, act, can barely swim, whistle, socialize, or really anything else you can think of other than take up space. I’m small and have no real friends. And every time I make a friend, after the summer break its like I don’t exist. My friend charley even started bullying me after the summer break. It must be me that makes all my ‘friends’ quit after one year. Zero girls like me, and I mean as just friends. I act nice but no one likes me. Even some of my teachers don’t/ didn’t like me.
When ever I rose my hand in class to ask a question she would literally stare at me, give me a look that said ‘idiot’ and then would just keep doing whatever. A lot of the times no one else was raising their hands.
Another called me and I quote “Mud” . He even wrote it on the board. He hated me, and just looked at me angrily when ever I tried to make a joke or seemed happy with my temporary friends,Matt and Trey. Every time I did anything slightly out of line he would rage on me. Once, the guy sitting behind me took my pencil and passed it to the girl beside me, when I asked for it back she smiled and tossed it to the girl on the otherside of the room. Trying to be nice I walked over to her and trying to laugh a little bit. She gave me my pencil and when I turned around he was glaring at me. He then raged at me for disrupting his class and sent me to the office. And took my pencil. I knew he knew that there was no reason to send me to the office because as I was going to the counselor to explain why I was in the office he rushed in and told me to come back. Sitting down, I told him I didn’t have a pencil and he said I should have brought on.
And last, my algebra teacher would always call me out in class, as stated earlier I’m the dullest knife in a dull knife collection. She would always say “there was one twenty in our class, I’m not going to say any names but he may have a yellow hoodie on” and stuff like that. Speaking of that class, a group of girls (basically all the girls in class) would tease and make fun of me, and whenever I got mad at them (Jackie in particular) what would my teacher say… She would say, “I think you make a big deal about them because you like her,” Lunch was a horrible experience almost every day. On a day all the seat were taken at my average table (I usually sit alone but a group of people took it) I sat at a different table that had ‘familiar faces’. When I sat down, the girl next to me looked at me like I was poison and then said “what the f*** are you doing her midget” I hadn’t said anything to her or even really looked at her. Only one person at a different table seemed to care even a little about the comment she made to me. Standing up after the comment I called her a cow. When I sat down at a different table. She and her friends (including a ‘friend’ from another year) threw their trash onto my table and head.(I’m not exaggerating.) then I stood up and went to a table with Ben, the person who didn’t majorly abandon me after a year. He then tried to pick me up (cause I’m ‘fun size’) he messed up resulting in me falling back into a trash can. When a teacher came over I started to say that me and him were friends and it was a joke but she turned to me and said “why are you standing, go and sit back at your table blah blah blah.” (Still not exaggerating) so half way through that lunch I just went to the library and fell asleep. I then slept to long and was tardy for my next period with my mean algebra teacher.
I joined orchestra but wasn’t good. My teacher always said “I believe in you” but I could tell she didn’t mean it and was just doing as a teacher to student. There was a kid in that class that bullied me too even though I thought we were ‘friends’.
I just feel like a waste of space. I’m worth nothing. My brother is a football player and is going to a college on scholarship so my dad could care less if I fell off a cliff let alone if I wanted a cat. He freaks out whenever I mention cat and gets mad at me. He’s always saying do something before he whoops me or beats me (though he doesn’t beat me) and I think that everyone’s life would be better if I wasn’t here. I make jokes but my mom and dad said I’m not funny. My mom says to be proud of the small things I do but I can’t think of any small achievements other than being able to go up stairs and stupid stuff like that. A lot of times I just want to run away but I know that if I run away ill probably died. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I go online but stuff but it doesn’t help whatsoever. And I always hear about those picture that say someone in the world is thinking about me, but who would think about me. And to make matters worse I’m am idiot by ever thinking I was worth something in the first place. I’m not asking for help I’m just venting. I don’t want to hear a way to help or how I’m important to someone. I am just venting.
5 thoughts on “Worthless”
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I didn;t get to reads the whole thing, its fairly late.
But honestly, you are worth. Whatever you feel, think about yourself. STOP. STOP because YOu are your own WORST enemy. Your head will make up these things to bring you down. We are too judgemental of ourselves. I know, because i struggle through that.
Things could be a lot worse. Honestly take time to think how LUCKY you are to even BE alive. This is just teen years. They SUCK. Just think of your future. No family, no friends, just do you!!
I am not going to tell you the usual like people n Africa have it worse and s*** like that because we have a different kind of ‘bad’
Its hard, you aren’t alone. You might feel like everyone hates you, but just keep going. Your future is what matters, you can become anything you want. (ok ok, little corny there)
For venting, i feel like breaking things (small things like plates) helps a lot haha.
But you aren’t an idiot. Trust me, you write better than me and i am no idiot (hopefully)
Ok, i vented too hehe
i know u said no advice or anything, but just read what i have to say first, i promise u wont regret reading this. i wont be like the rest of the people saying oh you are important to ur friends and mom and dad, i am giving u actual life advice that works in the real world.
don’t listen to what others have to say to you or do to you. just remember the best rules of life:
1. f***
2. don’t give a f***
3. don’t get f***ed over
remember haters are always gonna be there, but u just gotta say f*** you motherf***ing c***s to them and enjoy life.
i am assuming you are young, and you have a future ahead of you kid. a person’s worth isn’t decided from what their grades are, what they look like, or their abilities to do things, the worth of a person is determined by how you treat others. So be nice and smile at the motherf***ers that try to bring you down and say a big f*** you to them in your mind.
as for the bullying, that is definetely terrible and if i knew u, i would come to your school and teach those f***ers a lesson and make them see the pain and hurt they are causing you. Have you tried talking to someone like the principle or someone? worst case scenario, switch schools. and those “friends”? as you grow up, u realize that no one has any real friends, life is full of selfish people and u just gotta learn to look after yourself.
Now, stop f***ing crying in self pity becuase i know that you can be the f***ing king, and you are f***ing awesome for being nice, that’s all that matters, just be nice to those who are nice to you and say a big f*** you to the motherf***ers that try to bring you down. a wise person once told me that the only reason people bring you down is because they know that you are higher than them, so go out in the world and stop f***ing caring about what others think, and believe that you are the f***ing best.
You don’t want advice so I’m just gonna give my thoughts on your “writing”. You’re struggling. Possibly an easy target. But you’re probably better then all of those idiots laughing at you. They want to make themselves feel better by making fun of you and you try to make your life better by ignoring them. You’re the better person here. Not good at sports, work out, build muscle. Find something. Don’t do things for them. Don’t do it so they “accept” you. Just feel bette about yourself by making yourself better. Learn psychology, I mean that’s what I do but I’m jk. I don’t know if you’ll read this but if you need someone to talk to text me 201-215-5387. Or email me <a href="mailto:[email protected]" >[email protected]. I hope you find something.
So far everyone thats commented has lied to you. LISTEN HERE AND LISTEN GOOD. TAKE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE IN YOUR SHOES. There isnt a person on this earth who is worth anything. If you had value, someone else would have to have a decreased value, so the value of human life doesnt exist just like ant life of fish life. You ARE worthless, but so am I and so is everyone that ever looked you in the eye in your entire life.You need to let go of your false identity in this domesticated society because it has nothing to offer people that arent blind like us. Move to the f***ing wild. And apply worth to someone else, like while falling in love which will hapen eventually. you guys will put worth in eachother. other than that you really just need to abandon your sense of ego and see everyone for what they are. pawns. its not only the truth but it completely eliminates the worth of their opinions as a whole. thats how i walk with my head up everyday no matter how apathetic i am. good luck love.
I really can relate to this one. I know how it feels to be worthless. I couldn’t give you any advice about this matter because i don’t even have one for myself and, like what you said, you don’t need it. But, i just want you to know that you’re not alone. I wish i could tell you that personally. I’m in the same situation as you are. So, believe me, I know.