Posted by Anonymous on 2013/07/16 under Uncategorized Im sure youll never read this or come across this site. But its okay. id just like the world to know, how i feel about you. we met on a social network and meeting you was just to try something different. i didnt know, it would lead to desperately falling in love with you. i remember we decided our destination would be at starbucks. i was there first.i wore my best outfit, straightened my long hair, wore a suitable amount of make up and made sure to splash on my favorite juicy couture perfume. <3 although, i felt more than ready enough to meet you, i was so nervous! You call to tell me youre there. i was outside waiting and you said you couldnt see me. i remember you telling me you were nervous id lie about my image online lol but eventually you saw me and you parked. My heart was racing. you came up to me, with your beautiful and confident smile. you hugged me and we greeted each other. as we sat down, you told me i looked a lot more beautiful in person. i blushed and remained being shy throughout our conversation. 🙂 but you were so easy going and friendly… i later opened up pretty well. We then went to a pool by my house. we sat and spoke some more about our relationships in the past. he had plenty of experience, whereas i had very little. i was 18 at the time. he was 22. He told me he had an enormous amount of sexual partners. i had only 1. But i told him 2 because i was embarrassed and scared he might not like me. he was really surprised. he said there arent many girls that can say that and that he loved that about me. soon, he kissed me and i didnt want him to stop. He would look into my eyes and id blush when hed stare. he was just so perfect. his green eyes, his smile, his strong and lean body…he was so romantic. on our second date he came to meet my parents. he bought me flowers and we.went to a movie. 21 jump street. it was hilarious! We had a great time. at least i did. on our third date, we went to his apartment. i was nervous because i was sure maybe we would take things to the next level. but as we got there. we sat down and talked. he gave me a book to read. it was the book that helped him get through his rough times. and he knew my issues with my insecurity. he gave it to me. then we were.watching some tv. he got hungry so we went to get some pizza and he took me to starbucks.because he knew i loved it. i got my mocha frap and we went back to his place. as we were sitting down, he asked if he could smoke some green. i said it was okay. i never had experience with marijuana. he asked me if i wanted to try and how could i say no to him? so i did. next thing you know, i feel very disoriented. my heart rate went up. i was panicking. He felt horrible and gave me a glass of water. i still felt sick. he took my hand and led me to his bed. he layed me down and he lay right next to me, in the dark. we were facing each other, and he was caressing my hair, my face… he started to ask me questions so i could forget about how i felt. he asked me how many kids i wanted and i said 2. He laughed and said he wanted 2 kids too. he asked what i wanted to have girls or boys. and i said boys. he laughed some more and said he was the same. things became hazy after that but i remember i began to kiss him slowly and then hard. i wanted him so badly. I knew we were rushing things but i couldnt help myself. we made love for the first time. it was a beautiful.night. the next day was Sunday, easter day. The night before i got home past my bedtime and my mother wouldnt let me see him that day. he lived 45 minutes away but he came to see me only for 10 minutes. he wanted to tell me something. I get in the car and he gives me the cutest polar bear and a card. he looked nervous and i was at ease. i was just happy to see him. to be with him. he told me he loved me that day. and i loved him too. i told him so. i wished to have made love to him right there and then but we couldnt…..those are only a few memories we have had together. there are plenty more. Good and bad. we went through so much. i know you were mean to me after awhile. you changed. But i just fell more in love with you. i know i made you mad sometimes. you were a really jealous person. but i never did anything to hurt you. My whole life revolved around you. i know you had a hard life. a tough childhood. and i thought since i was a happy and good girl, i could make you happy too. but i was never enough. idk why. but even when you screamed at me and threw things at me and called me names… i remained sweet to you. I remember everytime youd get angry i wished to hug you so tight and make you feel better. i love you so much. I know now, youre in a different country. This story is long from finished. but i still love you just as much. i dont care how long id have to wait for you. it has been 8 months. and i have waited for you still. even though you let me go. even though we dont really talk and when we do…youre nice sometimes but mostly mean. even then, i love you. i wish you could wait for me. but you dont want to. sexually speaking. you already had sex with someone. and it kills me. it destroys me. its not fair that she had my whole world. idk. i feel so empty. i wish i could be with you. to call you mine, even if we are far apart. youre so beautiful to me. I want to be with you, even if you treat me badly. i would take anything and everything you would give me. id give you the world. and spoil you. like i did, when we were together. I hope God lets us come together one day. i would give my life for you Juan. no one will ever love you like i do. we were supposed to get married….what happened to always? you promised me you would love me and wait for me no matter what. if i was overthere with you. Id ask you to marry me. i know a guy usually does it. but idc. Id ask you. and id buy you anything you want. and give you anything you ask for. I have waited for you and i will remain waiting for you for as long as i have to. i love you Juan manuel abadia. always. and yes i promise. Forever your angel