Posted by Anonymous on 2013/04/08 under Uncategorized It has been a long time since I have a had a natural smile on my face. During the last 3 years I can count the number of times that I have actually been happy, and it’s no more than twice. And both times, it has been due to you. You make me so happy but I don’t want to be a burden on you, so I pretend to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy although now you know me well enough that you can actually tell sometimes when I’m just pretending. I don’t know why I’m writing, I guess just to let it out. I’m not angry, frustrated or anything. I have a worse feeling: the feeling of despair and disappointment. I was not like this before, but now I have given up on ever finding happiness because I can’t see any hope of being happy in the future. It’s not about grades, I am smart, it’s about life in general. Literally the only source of happiness that I have is you, and even you are going to be taken away from me pretty soon. I guess I will just have to go on pretending that I am happy and have a fake smile, and let’s hope that you buy it because I don’t want to make you worried because you mean the world to me. And although I may like another girl sometime in the future, you will always be the reason I survive and my love for you will never waver because even though I might like someone, if I am ever going to marry it’s going to be with you or no one else. And I know you will find someone better than me, infact you are so perfect that you deserve someone better than me with my problems. You deserve to have a lot of happiness, and someone who will treat you nicely and make you forget about all your problems. Good luck to everyone in their own lives *fake smile* (: