If you’d take a minute to read this…
I feel crazy. I think about so many things that I feel so damn hopeless almost all the time. Like…I can’t explain it! All I can tell you is that I don’t do shallow. I think about everything and wonder what that’s like and this would be and…you see my point? And the horrible part [..more..]
What can I say…
I’m just so f*cking angry with myself all the time. I literally cringe every time I think of an embarrassing moment from my past and then I tell myself that I hate myself. I just texted him saying that I’m not sure if I’m worthy of classifying myself as a Christian. And seeing that he [..more..]
Had to get it out…
I don’t know what to say. My life…the people around me…sometimes I feel like I have no humanity in me, i.e. no emotions, no feelings. I don’t feel anything. Except sadness, emptiness. I just don’t see a point to anything. Breathing: I’m going to die eventually anyway. And don’t tell me that we were given [..more..]
Tell me, what’s the point…
Writing to you, writing about this, writing in general…does it help? Am I wasting my time? Of course, that has an opinionated answer, a different one for everyone. I just feel lonely, deserted, even with all my loved ones around, friends who enjoy my company. Such a typically human thing to do. If it’s not [..more..]
Life as it goes
I was so depressed the past 3 weeks. I had no motivation to do anything. All I did was sit in bed, watching TV shows online. I was mad at myself for constantly harming people emotionally, I kept telling myself that I hate myself and how stupid I was. I’m actually still not over that. [..more..]
Overwhelmed
I just feel so lost, so suffocated. I want to cry every single night, just cry myself to sleep. I hate myself. I loathe the person I am, but I also hate hating myself. This is not what was supposed to happen to me. Not that it should to anyone. I just can’t get my [..more..]
Procrastination
I just wish that I could travel away with the Doctor, leave everything behind for a while. I could always come back to this place and finish school and start a relationship when I was ready. But I can’t, no. I am stuck here, stuck with these things to do and this oblligations and responsibilities. [..more..]
What I tell myself
Lately I haven’t been doing so good… So young, yet I have so many sorrows and pain. I’m not happy with my image, in general with myself I’m not at peace. The biggest problem of mine though is that I hate myself. My actions are always wrong in my eyes; even if they were accidental. [..more..]
Lost. Consistently.
Yeah, okay, so I don’t know if I’m depressed or just a little sad and beaten up inside or…what. I have made mistakes lately. In these past 6 months I have broken hearts and gotten mine shattered. S*** went down. I got to know myself a little better. I made new friends, lost some…thing is, [..more..]
Another useless thought, confusion and longing
Not really sure if people actually care. I mean, why should they? They have their own life filled with their own kinds of problems. I don’t know why I’m writing right now, right this instant. It all doesn’t make sense to me. I just lose focus on the world, on my priorities, on life. I [..more..]