What the hell?
So today I finally saw her but this time was different I felt scared,unwanted,sad when I saw her and I don’t even know why. And I know she didn’t mean to but she literally ignored me okay I don’t blame her I guess she didn’t hear me that’s normal I mean last year this happened [..more..]
I dont think I can keep up..
Again Badr.. Idk its a lot different now now I get so tired because I love her I swear and I get so mad when she doesnt answer like really really mad I dont even know why I love her and I hate that I do I wish that this would go away whatever this [..more..]
Its even weirder..
Sooo yesterday Badr had this presentation and I was awake all night havent slept because I was hoping that she would call me or text me when she gets to the school because I told her to do that if she needed anything…So at about 10 am she texted me saying “Please tell me that [..more..]
It hurts
Soooo today Badr told me that she is travelling on Thursday…THIS THURSDAY!! And that she wont come back till the beginning of school…as if being in different schools doesnt hurt enough…it hurts more knowing that there is no hope that I would see her any time soon..I knew that we wouldnt meet soon before she [..more..]
Its weird.
For a moment I think that Im over her that its was just all in my head but the second I talk to her either on the phone or texting my hurt beats fast and I become extremely happy.. She has this hold on me and she doesnt have a clue…Whenever she says that she [..more..]
Im scared..
Sooo I was talking with my mother about my friends & she is telling me who she thinks will leave and so on and when she said Badr’s name I broke I srsly broke. She told me that Badr would be the first to drift away because she would be after whats best for her [..more..]
Im messed up
Something is wrong with me..Idk wth is going on with me but something is definitely wrong. Ive been having very strange dreams sometimes I dream a dream then wake up to another dream and so on and other times I have those dreams that makes me feel like Ive been dreaming for like a year [..more..]
I think Im officially depressed…
Ummmmm so ummm I depressed……I hate feeling like this I feel hopeless Im a loser & the worst part is my finals are 6 days from now and Im completely falling apart…again…I keep rejecting hugs but tbh I need them more than anything rn I need someone to hug me to tight that I would [..more..]
I think I should
So my finals are a week from now and I dont think Im prepared for it. I usually get panic attacks b4 any exam but this term I tried to be careless but I became so careless that I dont even study and Im never motivated to study. I find it really hard to focus [..more..]
Its hard,
Im sick of not being able to express how I feel or explain my thoughts Im sick of that I want ppl to understand me but Im too complicated. I promised myself that I would try my hardest not to speak when Im sad or not to open to anybody but I did the complete [..more..]