Posted by Jiko_ on 2015/05/06 under Uncategorized Im sick of not being able to express how I feel or explain my thoughts Im sick of that I want ppl to understand me but Im too complicated. I promised myself that I would try my hardest not to speak when Im sad or not to open to anybody but I did the complete opposite….I opened to one of my friends. She just asked a simple question ” Why are you a tomboy?” That was her question and I as a stupid piece of sh*t talked and I wish I talked sensibly..I didnt I kept mumbling I talked about the past ad kept talking and trying to find reasons or convince myself with reasons I could hold my thoughts together I hate myself for opening to someone I already promised myself WTF did I do that…Can someone plz kill me or kick me in the ass….Im sick of this sh*t Im sick of it. I dont want to change at all but at the same time there are a few things that I wish to change but I failed horribly and Im suffering.Im scared. Scared of life,scared of being left,scared of speaking in public,scared of making ppl sad,scared of changing,scared of losing someone I love IM FREAKING SCARED OF EVERYTHING AND IM FREAKING SICK OF IT IM DONE!!!! I want to die…I deserve to die I dont deserve to live.I dont get why my friends even love me Im a mess. A huge freaking mess. Ive been pulling myself up whenever I fall but Im scared that Im too weak now and if I fall now I wont be able to pull myself up again.Im scared bro. Idk Im just scared of being hurt. Idk sh*t but I want to die……I want to make ppl smile and happy I want to help and Ive already helped some of my friends. I help ppl as much as I could but I cant freaking help myself why??!!! IM TIRED AND I WANT TO CRY. I say Im fine dont be worried Im fine no nothing is wrong then end up complaining and telling ppl whats wrong. WTH IS WRONG WITH ME!! IM FALLING APART AND IDK HOW TO STOP IT PLZ HELP ME….
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Hey hey, keep your head up, suicide is absolutely not the solution. Have you tried talking to a therapist, they really help you. Or you need to visit 7cupsoftea.com, you could talk, and talk, and talk about everything what’s on your mind to them and they will help you find a better solution. You’re strong and a beautiful person, life will get better, don’t look down look up! Take care, bye bye.