I want to die because all I’ll ever achive is unlasting happiness. It will all be great until I F*** up like I always do. I won’t f***ing apologize because I warned you, yet you let me in. You let a sociopath into your life and I’m not going to leave easily. Not because I love you but because no one else can have you. I make me want to tear myself to shreads. I make myself want to drink until I don’t feel the emptiness. I do all of these things and stuff myself with false fixes that temporarily make me appear unbroken. But I’ll always be the same scared lonely kid. Because I was never a one for letting people in.
I want to blow my brains out. I want to set fire to my face. I want to leave this hollow meaningless place.