Posted by Anonymous on 2015/06/02 under Uncategorized i told her i was miserable… what a mistake ! i have a love a very strong love for a girl who no longer feels that love for me, because i gave up on her for my own selfish wants. she has moved on and now im stuck trying to do the same but i cant no matter how hard i try. i talk to other girls i even went on a few dates but nothing is the same as her and how she made me feel. it all started my 10th grade year in high school , math class to be exact a girl sat in the front that i had never seen before so she caught my eye. class was about to end and i stood up waiting to go but before the bell rang i told her i liked her sneakers lol what a cheesy thing to say nevertheless she looks at me and says “thanks”. i go about my day school ends and i go home, couple days pass weeks maybe i cant really remember all i remember is staying after school one day and she was there with a friend of ours. our friend had told her i liked her and idek if she believed her or not but that day is when everything changed. i made her laugh she made me laugh we enjoyed each others company it was cool. soon after that we started texting everyday all the time we walked together after our classes it was almost perfect. it was probably around november when i realized i was going ask her out and ill never forget what i said to her ” i know your single and i wanna change that” once again such a cheesy thing to say but i think she thought it was cute so whatever. she told me she wanted to change that aswell but she didnt know at that time which i was ok with , she ended up asking her mom and she told her that she couldnt have a boyfriend until she was 16 which i also understood so i told her i would wait for her and i did. i cant remember if it was before or after that we had our first kiss but i will never forget where it happend, it was at the end of the day by the buses i walked her to her bus and stood there with her not exactly sure what to do, eventually i leaned over to her as she had he head down and she kissed me really quick and ran onto her bus. when i got onto my bus everyone was like awww who was that i was like thats my girl, it had been the first time i had ever labled her as that to anyone even tho things were not official i felt like they were. the rest of 10th grade went amazing everyday i got to know her more and more and everyday i begin to fall harder for her. ill never forget the first time she me told me she loved me i had said something along the lines of “i dont care who loves me as long as u love me” and her response was i do love u i was so happy when i read that i didnt know what to say. by 11th grade i had moved into a new house and a diff town in fact it was 3 blocks away from her as fait would have it and by this time we were dating july 13th of that year to be exact. shortly after that i attended her sweet 16 holy s*** was i nervous lol everyone basically knew about me but i had never met any of her family so i didnt know what to expect but things went good and i had fun. 11th grade didnt go as smoothly as i planned tho i f***ed up quite a few times and did things i shouldnt have that almost cost us our relationship luckily she loved me enough to let things go, each time i told myself id stop f***ing up but it was never the case. the summer before 12th grade was amazing me and her shared some of the best times together romantically and physically. i was going away to california for the summer and she was staying here but we talked almost everynight and video chatted just as much things were good it seemed, when it was time for me to come back she even went with my mom to the airport to pick me up it was awesome i loved being with her and spending time. as our last year of high school began we felt like things were going good she was in boces for nursing and i was coasting along just waiting to graduate, until i met this girl a girl i wish i had never met a leech a parasite that turned everything upside down she made me think things and feel ways i thought were the right way but really she was just using me for whatever reasons. it rocked me and my girls relationship i told her i wasnt into things anymore and we took a break eventually she found out about everything and broke up with me it was a horrible time me and her sat next to each other in class and didnt even speak i was all meesed up i didnt know what to do. eventually i texted her and told her how i felt and asked for another chance. she said ok it wasnt easy but things got better that girl faded away and me and my girls relationship flourished we went on senior trip together aswell as prom we hung out alot and did things together it was awesome. as school came to an end graduation day was here and ill never forget how she looked in her graduation dress omg her butt was amazing lol. while we were at graduation my sister thought it would be cool to have the girl who almost cost us our relationship standing next to my mom and my grandma smh when i seen that my heart dropped i knew she had seen her there and i knew she wasnt gonna be happy. sure enough when it was all over she was mad at me later that day i called my sister and told her that if she had ruined things for me i would never talk to her again and i didnt for a while after that cause i was so mad. luckily my girl forgave me and we spent time together that night very very romantic time lol a night ill never forget. after high school we became closer spending alot of time together going everywhere together her family had accepted me everything was great, after awhile i started feeling like i wasnt getting anywhere i felt like i wasnt accomplishing anything so i told myself that i had to be alone to do so. i waited for any reasom i could to try and end things eventually we had an arguement and didnt speak for a few days so i said this is my chance i told her i didnt wanna do it anymore i told her i was miserable the biggest mistake of my life. i hurt her so bad more than she ever deserved all because my selfish ways and thoughts, even after all that she still talked to me she still spent time with me she did everything she could to get me back but i didnt give her the chance the same chance she gave me so many times before. as time went on she was less friendly less nice to me cause she accepted things and was tired of my s*** all i had put her thru she was just tired and i dont blame her, soon i would realize the mistake i had made but it would be too late she was done with me there was nothing i could say or do. it wouldnt matter how many flowers i sent her or how many pictures i sent her or how many songs i sent and times i asked for another chance… she was done with me and i didnt know what to do i still dont know what to do everynight i think about her before i go to sleep wishing i could change to past but i cant i made my descision now i have to live with it. i let the most amazing girl to ever come into my life go cause i was to dum to see how perfect she was ill love her till the day i die and anytime she ever needs me ill be there idc what it is. i hope whenever she finds love again its with a man who treats her like a queen and gives her everything she deserves everything i never did. love is a strange thing it can have a hold of you in a way no other thing can it can make u do crazy things and feel crazy ways ill never love another girl the way i love her i know that for a fact. theres a song by trey songz called love lost i listen to it whenever i think of her although it makes me sad i always feel better cause i know she loves him lol. idk if anyone will ever read this post if u do take my advice dont ever let something good go cause u never know how good it was till its gone…..