Posted by Anonymous on 2014/12/20 under Uncategorized I’ll tell you something, auditioning here was a big deal for me. I’d been working for over a year on character research and my performance. So as you can tell, I was quite nervous. Previously in the year I’d done a few one day classes there, and I really had my heart set on the place. The people, the environment it was all perfect for me. So today- or Wednesday if we’re using real time was a huge to me. I got on the train, not nervous. Travelled a few hours, not nervous. Then got to Kings Cross- and I was s***ting myself. I was so nervous. I even had a moment before I got off the train where I had suicidal thoughts if I didn’t get in. Ridiculous I know, but it was in the moment you know? It was a ‘what if I’m not good enough’ kinda feeling. So I got off the train, lacking in self-beleif. Now anybody who lacks in self-confidence knows how hard it is to get back- especially when your audition is in an hour. So I took I detour to Leicester Square- just to see which actors on the posters had actually went to drama school. I’ll tell you 4 out of 300. Ha! Pathetic. I then jumped back on the tube and arrived at Goodge Street. The home of RADA, I met a bloke from Amnesty who was begging for money. I really wanted to help, then he was all like “£10 a month”. So spur of the moment I gave a fake name and address, telling him my bank details were at home and I was starting school at RADA so I needed to get going but for him to give me a call later. In fear he’d test the number I gave him me real phone number. Then he said something brilliant that I didn’t realise was brilliant until now. He said; “I’ve got a friend in France who is an actor, but training isn’t good. He goes to La Coq (the French RADA) and he is thinking about leaving the profession”. Wow. Anyway, happy with my performance as ’Nathan’ I realised I had 15 minutes to get to RADA in-time. Although it was just around the corner I wanted to prepare. So i walked straight past it, around the other corner did some mantra bulls*** then walked back towards the entrance. I walked through the doors and ignored the people on the stairs heading straight to reception to get the sticker. I turned around and faced the crowd. Noticing this ridiculously beautiful girl; I think she was called ‘Lilly’. i forgot where I was for a few minutes- just trying to ‘give her the eye’. But I was interrupted by Sally, a nice old lady who does admin and s***. She took us up to the top floor and sat us down. I wasn’t nervous at all- not in the slightest. I kept looking around smiling at all the other nervous faces. We had some awkward conversation but that’s about it. We then got split into three groups. And the other two f***ed off whilst me, the beautiful girl and two other irrelevant people sat in the room waiting for ’the panel to be ready’. 10 minutes later, we were taken up to a higher level. And I thought we were already on the top floor. Then made to wait in a s***ty looking corridor. Called up one at a time. Soon it was my turn. As soon as my name was called the nerves started a little, not a lot but a little. I walked through the door quite awkwardly. “Hi” I said from a distance and strolled across to the panel. I knew from that second they weren’t going to accept me. The feeling was one of “ageism”. I sat down for a short interview. They asked me about my CV, I informed them and they couldn’t really give two f***s. I was then asked to “stand in the end third of the room”. Are they actually f***ing with me? But I did so and gave my first monologue. It was Shakespeare, okay. I’ve done it so much better, but the emotion was there. The feeling was there, my breathing was a little faulty but it improved during the monologue. I wasn’t in a whole different world. But, I was in the moment. I was the character. It felt not good, but also not bad. They clearly didn’t think so. She smiled falsely and informed me to “stand back at the 1/3 of the room for my second piece”. So I did. This wasn’t that good either. But again not s***. I skipped a line but saved it, but once again it was definitely not my best performance. But surely not my worst. I finished, nobody acknowledged this. So I sat back down in the interview chair at my own accord. “Favourite actors?” They asked, so I answered. I told them about my love for Brando and his Strasberg methodology, and Olivier, Dench and Gielgud and my love for their realism work in Shakespeare. We spoke about Dee Cannon a former teacher. But now that I look back it all seemed rather patronising. They weren’t talking to me, they were humouring themselves about this ‘kid who knew more that his age’. It ended rather abruptly. I left and that was that. i wasn’t happy, nor was i disappointed. The auditionees I spoke to after hadn’t a clue about Stan or the group theatre, or Shakespeare for that matter. I was shocked! How hadn’t they discovered this yet! They were all seemingly focused on FAME, becoming famous. I pitied them, but was also rather confident that I’d impressed the judges. On the journey back I reflected and realised something, I realised the bulls*** they had given me. The patronising and the blatant ageism. They weren’t going to accept me the second I walked through. I’m a lower middle-class, skinny, medium height seventeen year old. They don’t want that. No. RADA want the stocky, posh, tall, blonde guy. Yeah, yeah. Diversity. I get it I looked at their graduates. But look at them closely, they are all the F***ING SAME! All of them. if you take away, class and race and whatever else. They all have a sense about them that is they are all the same. Hence the lack of success. I received conformation that I wouldn’t be attending next year today in the post. Not even a recall. My suspicions confirmed. I may be being a sore-loser in your mind if you’ve never auditioned. But if you have, you know what I mean. These guys aren’t picking talent, they are casting people. I bet you more than half the successful British actors at the moment were denied at RADA. Funny that. They don’t want different, they want the same. Look at the 2014 grads compared to the 1990 grads. The differences are hard to spot. i’ve realised that this place doesn’t want to change. It’s pompous, stuck up it’s own arse and will never remove it’s head from the sand it buried it in. “In RADA we only accept the best”. No you don’t. Because if you did all your grads would be living the Tom Hiddleston life. 3 out of the last 10 years are. I’m applying to other places also but this has made me realise why working-class actors are very hard to find. Because places like RADA don’t want them. And when they get them “for diversity reasons” they attempt to convert them into poshos. This is a class and age based system that needs to go. Look I’ve got nothing against 25 year olds. But seriously? It’s a f***ing school, you should be teaching younger people. Oh and that whole “life experience” bollocks. F*** off. Just because you’ve lived 5 more years than me, sitting on your arse planning call of duty does not make you a better person. F*** RADA. And your judgemental, pompous process.