Posted by Anonymous on 2014/11/10 under Friends I miss you two. I miss the days we would text regularly. Laugh. Smile. Joke. Share our problems with each other. Support each other. I loved you both like my real parents. And I would never have dreamed of doing anything to hurt you guys.
A carelessly spoken thought later. You’ve both thrown me in the gutter without even giving me a chance to explain myself. Or even to hear me out before officially breaking the friendship.
I wanted to hate you. I wish I could have. Then the pain would be so much easier to bear. But I can never hate you guys. I loved you guys more than anyone or anything else in this world. You guys WERE my world. And when you dumped me. My entire world collapsed into fragments. My heart beyond repair. All I hoped for was a chance to ask for your forgiveness. I wasn’t even expecting a second chance. But the chance wasn’t even granted. No more words left to say. You guys just ignored me outright. Denied me any chance to be forgiven. You must hate me for the wrong I did you although I didn’t even realise I had said something wrong back then.
I was so sorry about it. I cried so much and my heart hurt so badly. I felt like I might die any moment. I valued your friendship so much that losing it meant the end of my life at one point. The last thing I would have wanted was to leave an impression in your minds that I was a selfish and ungrateful person. There were so many misunderstandings involved but I never got a chance to explain. Now I am left wondering if you truly ever cared like I had thought you did. I don’t know anymore. I want to move on with life. But I love you guys too much and the memories are too painful to bear. If I wasn’t who I was. Would I have already killed myself? I couldn’t imagine living without your friendship. I survived one week without it so far. And already I’m feeling like crap. How am I going to survive? We had only just celebrated one year of friendship and this happened. Why…????? I don’t know anymore…