Posted by Anonymous on 2014/09/27 under Uncategorized I feel really bad to write this… It’s embarrassing… I don’t really like myself. That’s okay as many other people do either. Over the last year I tried to get more confident and comfortable with myself. The more people I got to know and who weren’t bad persons made me feel almost happy. I tell the person to stop but every time I do that, I get doubts… As I’m not used to my life being good and not horrible and lonely, I’m still waiting for something bad to happen and that all of that just turns around…
I couldn’t understand how this is possible. I don’t understand it yet how people can be friends with me as I thought that is impossible after my experiences.
Here on my year abroard, I made some really good friends already but the person in my head, that says all those terrible things, won’t go away. Even if people ‘praise’ me and compliment me, I can’t believe it and I won’t ever believe it. I just feel bad then because I think about the new standarts, these compliments bring. And I’m never good enough for the standarts.
Sometimes I can’t understand the actions of people but if I said something they’d blame me to be the unfunny… I know they would…
I feel insecure. The person in my head still says: What if everyone just pulls a big prank on you? They dont really like, they just want you to believe that! They aren’t your friends!
One thought on “Myself”
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Over thinking kills. Brace yourself then, because some day, your life is going to drop in an instant, and its up to you to build it back up.