Posted by Anonymous on 2013/07/17 under Uncategorized Sometimes I feel like an open book and sometimes not. It’s like they judge me from my expression on my face but not what I feel inside. Sometimes I dont know when to smile or not because If I do people will just look at me weird. Sometes I feel unwanted. I feel like God decided to put me in this Earth for punishment. I hate knowing Im not good enough. My faults and flaws get to much in the way. I feel sometimes my life is a story that I have to look back on. But what am I really looking back at? Is it just a reminder that all your flaws makes you a no one. I feel like whenever I wish for something it doesn’t happen but when I let go of the wish it happens. My life is a mess. I feel like Im stuck in a box and I have no where to go. I can’t tell if my emotions are real sometimes. But why am I acting this way. I don’t think I’m depressed. Is it alright to say I wanna fall in love. Meet someone who really doesn’t care about looks or your flaws. Why can’t they just see the hurt and carry me in there arms. Can anyone say that pain is numbing your hurt. It probably doesn’t make since. I just wanna be known as the girl who never gave up. She never gave up on love.Love saves lives and makes them feel wanted. But me Im just a silly girl stuck in her thoughts and daydreams. I just wanted to say I feel incomplete.
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You wouldn’t care about what other people thought about you if you realized how seldom they really cared. Life becomes much more enjoyable when you change your beliefs. You become the thoughts that dominate your mind. Therefore you need to start telling yourself that you ARE enough.
It’s not particularly abnormal to search for love. However I do feel like the only reasons you’re searching for love is because you want to use it as an escape from all of the other things in the world that hurt you. This is NOT okay and often results in an unstable relationship.
If your parents or friends don’t accept you the way they are then that is their own fault. You have no flaws. The belief that you have flaws comes from the people you surround yourself with and believe it or not THEY are the ones who are miserable. Miserable people are unable to accept things the way they are.
As for god punishing you i’m sorry but believe it or not you are just looking for somebody to blame. If you don’t like how your life situation is going then you need to find a way to adapt your thinking/beliefs so that it makes those situations bearable. If you’re stuck in a particular way of thinking though, you’re not going to get them.
You have my sympathy. However nothing will change until you take it upon yourself to accept yourself and even accept the others that may seem to make your life difficult.