Posted by Anonymous on 2013/04/07 under Uncategorized you know what I wonder? sometimes I wonder how you can be so close to someone, so open. so completely honest with. someone that can take everything that has ever hurt you, and push it all away. be there for you through almost every possible thing and keep you happy. someone that you’d never think of having any deep feelings for, but yet wanting them there all the time, treating you like someone special. someone that knows your boundaries, and respects them enough to never cross over them. someone where you can say, “I’ll find you someone”. vowing to that person that no matter what happens we’ll never break our bond. then out of no where watching it all be ripped away from you. like it wasn’t even there. you still feel the initial pain, but you have to hide it. no matter what you do to fix things, you always end up being the bad person. I wonder how someone can be so satisfied with themselves as they watch someone they once called a friend have their friends torn away from them, and over a silly rumor. it’s truly sickening, knowing the feeling, getting the phone calls at night; getting called names for having a friend. getting called names for merely talking to someone, being open with them. getting glares down the school hallways because your friend helped you with your problems. it disgusts me, watching someone believe a rumor that isn’t true, and watching them spread it. feeling like they’re always going to be correct. instead of coming to that person. they continue to believe the lies, they believe everything that tears a relationship apart. they believe everything that eventually ruins a friendship. they’ll believe anything as long as it doesn’t involve them. I wonder sometimes how people can be so cold-hearted and cruel. eventually it’ll get to the point where what you say no longer matters. you watch it crumble before your own eyes. you’ll watch it twist and turn, like a snowball effect. it won’t stop until it doesn’t have anything to keep it going. everything that kept you happy will have disappeared at that point conversations will diminish, smiles will fade, and that drive to keep you going will yet again release itself from you, because you failed in everyone’s else’s eyes. they quit trusting you, loving you, and eventually leave you. from there, you start over slowly again trusting people you shouldn’t, knowing in the future there will be pain again. tears fade, fake smiles return… putting on a good show for everyone, not wanting them to be “concerned” weeks pass and ever so slowly everything unfolds once more. you lose control over it all and finally quit. having that empty feeling inside of you. judgement, lies, and heartbreaks return, but maybe in the end it’s worth it, because we’re human. we fall quickly, love deeply, and make plenty of mistakes. but I believe that is what makes us stronger. and the mistakes you make today determine who you are tomorrow.