Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2017/03/20 under Friends

Every Sunday I have to go to church with my parents and they don’t know that I’m atheist. Every Sunday in church is hell to me, ironic isn’t it? They’ll disown me if I ever tell them im atheist. Every Sunday I spend 3 hours in church and then another 3-5 hours doing other things outside from home. Im a magnet student and I have a lot of homework to do on weekends but to me it isn’t even a weekend because I only have Saturday off, and even then sometimes I have to spend Saturday at parties I don’t want to go to. My grades are slowly going down and they yell at me for it. I love school because its the only time I really get to spend without my parents in it. Im slowly going mad because I realize the pastor at our church only spits out dogma but everyone else is ok with it. Today is the Holy Communion, but Im not baptized so I didn’t see a need to come today, and right now Im riding in the car to go to church. Every Sunday is a wasted Sunday for me because I always have to go out; im an introverted atheist so once I do get home on Sundays im both physically and mentally exhausted from being out and not at home in my room recharging. I can’t go out Saturday and Sunday without a huge headache because im just not mentally strong enough to hang out with so many people two days in a row, much less people I don’t like. I hate not being old enough to legally live on my own; Im going insane because I just can’t be the perfect daughter to my parents, and then because I can’t pretend that im Christian forever. My mother signed me up for the baptism classes, and I know soon im going to have to tell her I don’t believe. I don’t want to be baptized as an atheist because it takes away the fact that it is a sacred ceremony for others. I don’t want to intrude on Christianity’s beliefs but I’ll literally have to kill myself if I wanted to miss church. And every week that passes by I think, maybe today will be the day that I finally get to rest from the never ending hell that is church to me.

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