Posted by elaine on 2015/06/07 under Uncategorized I fall inlove before, to my bestfriend…. I thought he love me too and I know atleast he wont break my heart. I ignore all the signs that he just toying with me because im his bestfriend, atleast he wont hurt me purposely. I never been so wrong. He doesnt even respect me, he keeps me because I do anything for him. I keep doing everything for him for so long, I didnt date anyone else. There is this one guy who been courting me for 6 years. He notice everything about me. The meaning of my smile, even the things I barely notice about myself. He been patient. Then there was one time we got into a car accident and he hug me so I wont get hurt. But then, common sense not so common afterall… I took him for granted like how my bestfriend did to me…. and when I finally open my eyes and see who I should choose, he was taken from me forever. I tried to talked myself that he is in place where I couldnt hurt him anymore. I dont deserve him. I was filled with regret, longing and anger. I live for so long believing I will never deserve to be love that much again. I spent all my days in the internet. Until I meet someone. He was cool, kind and fun.I enjoy talking to him. Days, weeks, months gone and we never been tired of talking to each other about random things in life. We tell each other our deepest secrets, until time comes that we become lovers. I’d jump right to it thinking what can go wrong.. he is miles away from me. And its easy to break up this kind of relationship. From time to time he is trying to talk to me about breaking up. That ours is not a relationship with a future… but then again common sense was not natural to me, I keep going on. And its been more than a year and we still in an online relationship. And everyday is a torture. Everyday I keep loving him more and everyday it became even more harder to think what should I do when the inevitable end finnally happens.. We knew it all along.. Still.. I couldnt just give up… When will I ever learn?!!