Posted by lenalena24 on 2014/12/23 under Uncategorized I keep on thinking if there is something that I really want to do with my time, my life and if I will choose the right thing. there are all these sites and questions online that say it will help find something to do but it all starts out with clear your mind and ask yourself what your good at, or whats something you really like to do. then there’s the best questions that ask if you would do this even if you weren’t making money off of it.
I have my boyfriend who is smart and has a list of all these things he would like to try doing, i’m sitting here happy for him and then i’m feeling sorry an thinking i’m a lame idiot who barely passed highschool and thought of taking the easy way out by joining the army. well that didn’t help, sure im going to school but its pointless because I don’t know what I want to do.
lets see; I love to write and I have always done good in English class, but I lack creativity and have little to no imagination, also I always fall short on the right words to use.
ive tried photography several times, i’m somewhat good at it, but I lack the patience to do anything artistic.
as for teaching, one im not smart, two, have no patience, three I don’t like working with kids,and four I don’t know if I have mentioned it enough but im not smart.
ive got all these friends going to school for becoming a psychiatrist and I think to myself well that sounds lame, how would I be able to sit there and listen to talk to someone about their problems when I have my own effed up brain of my own.
then theres being a doctor, eeeewwww blood, guts, disease and sick people……so no thank you.
I know im sitting here bashing on myself calling myself and idiot and saying im not smart, and I have people telling me I am smart and what not. Sure, I can learn things everywhere and I have my smart ideas and I am good at learning. but I also have my lazy moments.
and Im some what sitting around hoping one day that the thing im good at, or something I want to do just hits me over the head and has my name written on it……I know that’s not likely to happen (fingers still crossed). the first time I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, I was in kindergarten and my answer was that I wanted to be a Princess, I s*** you not. Then around my junior year of highschool I was thinking of be an oceanographer or go into marine science, then again at the time I was taking marine biology class and I grew up in Hawaii so yeah….then after that nothing could come to mind. right now im a part time mechanic in the military and a waiter in a restaurant. Honestly it all sucks.
ugh
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Hi, you don’t have to make that decision right now. Hey I was a mechanic in the Army. On a TugBoat. Had I known then, in my early 20s, that I would love doing what I do now, I work in a mental hospital, i’d have joined the Army to be in psychiatry field. I have worked in a few mental hospitals 20+ years now. I just got on at this small 16 bed facility, been 3 yrs now, it’s in the mountains, I bought a home and in 3 weeks I am being re-assigned. The hospital is going Private. I work for the county, they let a for profit, private, company buy them out. My job just vanishes. I don’t want to leave the county. Retirement kicks in at 5yrs. I am being assigned as an Eligibility Worker. Doing welfare paperwork. I am blown away. Just when I get comfortable, settled, blammo. I was pissed off, confused, freaked out. Still am a bit but i’m going to embrace this crazy change and carry on. I get a cut in pay, this truly sux but I have to go go gently down the river. Merrily, no, just okay with it. So, find something you truly enjoy, try many things, you’ll only regret things you didn’t do. Do many things, who’s to say what you have to do. If you have a from the soul passion about something it will thrive and people see your passion it’s something they want. I know if I wanted to stay in mental health I could find another job but for some crazy reason i’m going to see where this takes me. Maybe i’ve had just way too much craziness around me for long enough? When it comes to art and writing and creativity if you can get into the zone well it’s amazing and words come easy. It all does suck, I agree. But it doesn’t suck forever. Do what feels good.