Everything is going wrong
Almost a year ago I thought my family was falling apart. My friends hated other friends, my family was more concerned with money and pride to get along, my uncle was cheating on my aunt with a girl younger then his oldest daughter. The one light was my close family, and my best friend coming [..more..]
I’m just a Background Memory
No one knows me. I’m the one in the background, the one who rarely speaks. I have nothing but my family and a small group of friends, but even they only know most of me, but not all of me. To them I am a light, I help them with their problems no matter what [..more..]
How?
How do you live when you’re dying inside? How do you smile when you’re running out of reasons?
When my enemy is myself
The world just loves watching me loose. I must love internally screaming at myself for every single little mistake I make. I HATE myself sometimes. Every mistake I make haunts me, brings me to tears, makes my thoughts corrupted with hatred towards myself. What am I suppose to do if I’m my own bully? No [..more..]
They never notice
They never notice whats happening to me. They never see when I’m down on myself when I’m to tired to hide it. They never see when I try and dress different, wearing brighter colors, wearing a dress, putting on make up. They never see when I’m in pain, or when something bad happens to me. [..more..]
I have to scream
I’m not good enough. I can’t so the things they want me to be able to do. I nod and say ok and I’m trying. But no matter how hard I try I can’t do it. I want to be good at something. “I’m the best at being me.” means, “I’m the best at being [..more..]
I have regrets
I know I’m not even a quarter through my life, that there’s so much more to come, but I already have so many regrets. I’m that person that sits in the back whenever possible. The person that no one really knows. And its because I’m shy. I’m a drama student and there’s this thing called [..more..]
Just need to vent somewhere, sometime, for once
Its becoming less of a reason to live and more of a reason to tolerate life. I swear everyone is so hypocritical and I’m so close to giving up what strength I have left. Everyone can say, “You’re to young to know what stress is.” but they’re not me and I am only using the [..more..]