Posted by vodkaxkisses on 2015/02/28 under Uncategorized All my life I wanted to be loved. I grew up without a father so honestly i dont know what its like to have a real dad but i do have a stepdad hes really great with my mom and i. Im 17 years old i havent seen my real dad since 2007. I fall for the wrong ones. I feel like im a lost cause i did things that Im not proud of. with all honesty i have no idea who i became. I feel alone all the time. Most girls my age are having fun with their boyfriends hanging out, having sex, or whatever. But me im here behind a computer screen typing my problems out. Dont get my wrong I do get laid but i want to be laid with someone who loves me not a temporary relationship that wont last more than 4 months. Sometimes i dont think before i do because im scared. I put up a front that im okay but truly im not. Im not happy with who i am or how i look im fat and ugly. Who wants to be with someone like that? i want to change but i dont know how. I just want something real someone who can truly love me and actually understand. I want to feel alive enjoy my life. IS it that hard?