Posted by beautifuldisasterxo on 2013/11/20 under Uncategorized It sucks when you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about yourself for even five simple seconds. all you see looking back at you is disgust, pure hatred. you’ve crushed many dreams, hopes, feelings, and hearts. its like you’re a black hole and everything that comes within your reach gets destroyed with you. you never look back at the destruction. you just keep moving forward breaking one persons soul after the next. all because you yourself are broken. all the thoughts of suicide only supress for a short amount of time until you wake up and realize you have to go through it all over again. its a vicious repetative cycle you wish you could break. but you have no idea how. everyone thinks you’re okay because you walk around like everything is fine, but inside you’re screaming, ear piercing screams that nobody can hear to help you. you won’t even let someone help you. you hate yourself more than anything. the person you’ve become is absolutely repulsive to you. you just wish someone would pick up the pieces and make you happy again. all because you’re broken, shattered, and left lying on the floor to recover when time chooses. you’ll never be satisfied. you’ll just destroy everything like your life destroyed you, one tiny piece at a time. you just want to be alone. to stop destroying everyone and everything. you hope everyday gets better but it doesn’t it just repeats itself. you don’t see yourself as the same person anymore. you want to end it all, stop making others suffer for the pain you hold inside. you just want to be free again.
2 thoughts on “Disasterous”
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misery loves company….
You are not alone in this feeling. It gets better in time though. One small step at a time.