I’m prettyweirdo, 19 yrs of age, college student currently on my senior year(yey)a typical teenager..I’m a very cheerful person that everyone thinks I’m so strong but deep inside there is a girl that wanted to cry loud..By the way I’m a christian ..I’m not that kind of christian who thinks their self as a PERFECT person..I commit mistakes, I’m a sinner and I even judge my self as a bad person(sometimes)..But I dont let my mistakes define me..
I’m here to help me to know the worth of life..who am I living for..what am I living for ..Yes I know it’s for God (usual answers from pastors) but ..why me?..No one even notice me..In my life the only people who are noticeable are actors, politicians,famewhores and people with pretty faces..
If your reading this I know you might think I’m on the wrong place..But this is the exact site I wanted to be..No one can judge me, no one can bash me about my Christianity..(thank you if your reading and if you experiencing same problem..we can talk 🙂 )
I’ve got news for you- I noticed you, and I’ve got a few words. Not in judgement, but to help you see a perspective that maybe you wouldn’t otherwise.
There’s no need to have a strong facade if you don’t truly feel that way. If you want to cry about something, then do it! People will respect you more for showing that kind of vulnerability. Even Wonder Woman took vacations! It really is important for your sanity.
As for you being a Christian: Yes, of course, your religion is supposed to help you have a moral compass, to know what is right and wrong. But if you should end up doing something that isn’t the best, there’s absolutely no reason to repeatedly beat yourself up about it inside. I feel like when a lot of Christians say ‘sinner’ it has a very negative and derogatory connotation, but it shouldn’t. Sinning does not make people bad, at least not in most instances. What truly makes evil is the inability to reconcile those wrongdoings that are committed; It’s the inability to find balance and truly cope with guilt; It is lashing out uncontrollably instead of finding peace.
On a final note, no one else can really answer your existential life questions (ex. Why me? What’s my purpose?) You have to answer those questions for yourself if they’re to truly have meaning, and then orient yourself in that direction of action. Those pastors aren’t helping you much when they say ‘only to live for God.’ They don’t even know what God is- no one really does. If you want to be happy and fulfilled, live for yourself, girl! If you can do that in a just and loving way, all of that ‘living in God’s true being’ business will follow anyway.
Best of luck to you!