Posted by Anonymous on 2014/10/13 under Uncategorized Why do you always call on me? Is it because I’m always the most responsive? That’s not fair. I’m the youngest, but you make me do the most work. He’s the eldest and is barely called upon, and she’s the middle and refuses to do your tasks while she complains. I complete your tasks with a sad face on. If I say something, you’ll just lecture and mock me, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut. You may forget how many times you call each kid, but I don’t because it’s not a good feeling to have to work while the others get to play. I mean their already adults. Deep in my mind, I find this kind of behavior from myself to be wrong. I should be happy for what I have and be considerate to my parents who are tired from work. Contradictions like these make me cry myself to sleep. Other things happen too, such as: this person wanted to start a conversation with me but I was too social awkward, I feel too self-conscious that I can’t open my thoughts to others, and I’m nothing but an errand maker.
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I’ve realized that
as a young adult I could never
change the manipulation or the verbal
abuse my father gives me everyday of my
life I am actually the middle child
but even when he or anyone acts so messed
up with me I still help I still do favors
and I never understood why
and I just truly believe that
there are people with golden hearts
whether we’ve made mistakes
whether we’ve had our fair shares of
broken moments
we are good people and as hard as it is
you just have to think about yourself
because I realized I even tried to express
myself to my family and they just don’t
care and I always wondered why am I here
what is my purpose but you know something
even when life is s***ty I know
I won’t be in this situation forever
things will change and there will be a way
it might not be a clear path right now
but things will get better for you
use all the strength you have
and do everything you need to do
and if that means to stop doing what
they ask you to constantly do then do so
there is social services where you can
ask for help or even going to a therapist
there is help and sometimes its easier
for us to help ourselves
cause family honestly
isn’t what they make themselves seem
it’s crazier how we have closer friendships
to friends and refer to them as family
when they aren’t which I don’t even associate myself as much with anyone but
things will be better the waves will calm
one day continue being positive
even when your back is on the wall