I’m not sure what else to say except that while I’m relatively healthy (minus the suicidal tendencies) for my frame, I feel hideous and grotesque. I haven’t eaten more than 500 calories for some time now. I don’t consider myself to be anorexic, particularly since I don’t have a lethal condition. My body needs to suffer. My skin needs to bleed. No one really notices the pain I’m enduring and that’s just fine.. but I want them to notice me as someone equal, not pity my weaknesses. I want to exist, not just to my lowly self, but to someone, something worthwhile. If nothing else, I want to be beautiful for once.