I feel like such a bad, selfish person. Lately my mood has been so up and down – like one minute I’m really grateful to be alive and the next I just wish that I could either be a completely different person or stop existing altogether. Everything feels so out of control. I’m way too dependent on other people and I wish I could just keep my emotions to myself and stop burdening everyone else with them. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I don’t know what to do with myself. If I was happy all the time or sad all the time then at least I’d know what to expect, but I can’t stand going round in circles like this thinking that things are getting better only to feel completely miserable five minutes later for absolutely no reason. It feels like I’m all take and no give. Like I don’t have anything valuable to contribute to the world or the people I care about. And it’s my fault because if I could just stop wallowing in self-pity then things would be fine. Ugh 🙁
TL;DR: I’m unhappy and I needed to vent.