im completely lost . i feel alone and sad , as if nothing matters..i make nothing but mistakes . i cant seem to make my mom happy nor anyone else . im broken inside , everything that iv gone through when i was a child effects me so much now i dont know why either . i smoke , drink , cut and rebell to deal with everything . i use to be happy or so i thought but now im sad . doctors have tried pills to help but they dont now they think im bipolar? everything seems so mest up for me right now . im only 14 , why am i going through this !!!i am a rape victim , seen my own mother get beat , shes always on and off drugs , my father left when i was a baby and olny seen him once when i was eleven . i hate the fact i dissapoint my mom so much , i wish i could make her proud. i have no idea who i am . im lost and so confused… and it breaks my heart /: