Every day I hide them. Only pregnant women are supposed to have stretch marks. Not slightly overweight teenagers. I keep thinking that if I were 20 pounds lighter that I would fall in love. That some guy would sweep me off my feet. My heart is screaming at me as I type this. It is telling me that no one can love me until I love myself. It is telling me that I can not find a Godly and beautiful relationship until I learn to quit being concerned about myself and instead focus on the needs of others. But my head is fighting my heart. It says “What about my needs…I want to be loved, I want to be held, I want to feel beautiful.” If I starved myself would I be happy? If I met some guy would I be happy? If I quit looking in mirrors and found strength in the Lord would I be happy? Life is a constant fight. I’m fighting sin. I’m fighting the devil. God WILL win. I know he made me beautiful. But as I close my eyes tonight I wonder if anyone else on this earth will see it too.