My first love, who I was with for 4 years, dumped me 3 months ago. She didn’t tell me why, but I know I wasn’t always the best partner, we grew apart I guess. I have asked her why and she said it wasn’t just to do with me.
I’m still talking to her, regardless of the advice to delete her number, and I’m still hoping that we can be together again. That’s my problem; I can’t stop hoping that things will be back to how they were. I still wake up every morning, forgetting what has happened, I just can’t let her go. It tortures me every time I realise that she doesn’t care and that she’s actually moving on.
I don’t want to sound like the typical teenager, but what we had felt so right. I f***ed up before and we got past it. I grew up alot, learned to be a man, the man that she wanted me to be. We grew apart and I think it was because of this. I love her and, at the moment, it feels like I always will.
She recently started spending time with someone who is alot older than her, matt. She spoke about him when we were together and he seemed like a nice guy. I recently asked about him, even though it isn’t my business, and she seems to like him more than before. But she says she wants to stay single. Now I dont know if she’s lieing to make me feel better or not.
The thought of her sharing herself with someone who is a stranger to me and, might I add, her too [she’s been working with him for 4 months], breaks my heart. Now when I think of all of the good times we spent together, all I can think of is how he gets to carry on enjoying her love.
I miss my Lexie, more than I’ve ever missed someone before. I’ll always remember what we had.