It’s halfway through November, and with every day closer to December, I feel worse. I’m having nightmares, I’m hypersensitive, I don’t want to wake up in the morning, I want to hurt myself and I’m obsessively craving affection from men again… I’m afraid of this person that’s inhabiting my body, the person that always does this time of year. She isn’t me. She’s a girl who was raped five years ago in the month of December, who just can’t help coming back every year and bringing with her all of the anger and pain. And with the awful situation I’m already stuck in, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it through this time.