….since i last held you. I still think about you a lot.
For months i was your puppet on a string, i sat there waiting for you in limbo while you claimed you were “unsure” about you and me. While every couple of weeks you would run back to me and treat me like you were my girl again, only to turn around and run away 24 hours later. I was a fool to take you back every time, but you do silly things when you love somebody. Eventually the inevitable happend and you ran back to him.
To thereafter dismiss everything that happened between you and i as a mistake is totally heart breaking. To suggest that you coming over, wanting me to come over, kissing me, doing what lovers do, and telling me that you love me and that “we are worth it” was somehow all forced by me is also.
It was also completely unrealistic to expect that straight after, we can be best of friends. That you could come over or call me and tell me all about what you two have been up to. Although i didn´t want you to go, i wanted the space to get on with it. it was also very unfair for you (in a stupid twist of events) to expect me to sit in the same room as you two without internally combusting.
So here i apologise for my explosion, for the cursing and the tears. I know it could have been a lot worse, and some people say i was right to, but to go like that is out of my character, and i ruined a night for a lot of people. But i had held it together long enough.
Ok, time for the guard to go back up and to “be a man” again.