I question my faith as I look up above, reaching with outstretched arms expecting another shove. I’m losing all my care from losing all I loved and no amount of time can heal the hurt that has been done.I remember now the way she use to look at me and the pain in her eyes that back then I could not see. If I could I’d ask for her forgiveness for being so naive. If I could I’d ask her to come back to me, if only in a dream. To come back and give me closure in her own words, the only thing in my head that could ease this pressure. I just want to be able to say that life is better rather than worse, even though in the end I’m sure it’s God’s name that I’ll curse. He never answered her when she kneeled and prayed. He never could just once reach down and comfort her when she most needed saved. Now the very few things I feel are agony and dismay, swallowing the grief only to breathe out animosity towards anyone with faith. How am I suppose to believe in a god who tears us apart? Who leaves us broke and ruined crying in the dark. I need someone to please tell me now what to put inside my heart. Then tell me how to live without the girl to whom I gave my heart. Because now I am truly lost. I’m truly alone within my fears and no one can ever understand the overwhelming sadness that descends within my tears. There’s still a small part of me that wants to believe that there is a life after this one. A life where we can find each other again and finally be at peace. But unfortunately such a place will only ever exist made up in my mind… Only in a dream.