I’m so tired of keeping a straight face. Some times I’m tempted to let death into my place, I know it woulnd help much but it might erase some of this pain. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to live, I want to die, I want to be able to be I instead of some painted face made to replace my non-emotionless face. Maybe I want to rip my hair out, maybe I want to scream, maybe I want to laugh, maybe I want to dream, all of the above and more remain unseen the mask prevents all but the degree of almost perfect social attitude I was raised to be. I’m smiling right now, though it is likely a bitter and grotques mockery of a true smile. I think I forgot how to truly smile a long time ago, becuase even when I’m happy I don’t show it, for fear it will be quickly taken from me.