I feel like there is this… demon living inside me or something. One second I am fine, and then the next, I am drowning in my own misery. It is very hard to watch myself go like this. Whenever I walk through the school doors, I become this fake girl. Nothing like I actually am and I feel like I have to be nice to everyone and do everything perfectly. And none of the boys will talk to me. I do not know why maybe they sense who I really am. And I feel fat too. Really fat ever since my body started to change. I always used to be skinny and now I have all these curves and cellulite! Why? I miss who I used to be. The care free, happy, skinny little girl who ran wild. But now my fears and my worries tangle around me like a spider web and I am not quite sure I can handle it. I have to paste this smile on my face every single day. And I cannot do it anymore. I want to scream and yell and cry but there is no one to talk to. I compare myself with every girl I see because there is no one to give me the boost of confidence that I need. There was this one guy a few years ago, who really liked me. And I turned him down and I still feel guilty because he will never feel the same way again. And I was so stupid to turn down such a nice guy because now, not even the creepy guys will even look at me. Do not tell me that it does not matter. This is my life. I don’t know where I am going.