I feel so down right now its that exact moment where you’re not your normal but worse where you think of everything that is wrong in your life and realize that everything in your life is wrong. I don’t believe in true love anymore even though I want to and would like to be my old optimistic and romantic self. I don’t know what I want to do with my life I am 20 years old and have no idea what I’m going to do with my life when I graduate from my very expensive school. I don’t have any ambitions or aspirations in life I fear failure even though i never tried accomplishing anything because I’m terrified of trying. I have no life I barely go out and sometimes I feel like such a b**** that I don’t deserve to have any of the friends that I do especially when treat them like s*** because I have short temper. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I just want to drop out and leave everyone I know and disappear and leave everything and everyone and just vanish. I really wish I could. I want to live so badly but to scared to even try to be alive.