Despite the optimistic style of my character, i feel so depressed from being a loser and then a loser and a loser. sometimes i feel that i have the way out of this, but some other times i feel so depressed for not being able to think how to change and i feel clueless. such an awful feeling. what is really bad, it is hitting me many times lately and i am not happy about it. on the same time i feel that i have nothing to fight with.