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help

I’m always so alone in this house. I just tried to throw up everything I ate too. Everything I do is out of control, or I feel as if its out of my control. My parents restrict me from doing anything. They don’t understand me. No one does, well someone did but I let him go. My biggest mistake. He hates me. Tell me how is it possible to love someone so much, yet they could care less for you? I feel useless. Nothing I do is good anymore. I need help. I think, my parents don’t let me out because I have drinking tendencies. but I don’t think of it as bad, it helps me forget about how much I hate all the things iI can’t control. My body, him, and my parents. I need someone to believe in me, for once

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