So i’m dating a man who is older than me, married, has four kids. I love him so much. I feel alive and happy when i am with him. But sometimes i get the feeling it wont ever work out the way i dream of. How can i expect someone to leave their family and start one with me? Isn’t that crazy? I dont wanna give up, i tell myself im okay with this, that it keeps me focused, that he can never get tired of me this way. But then i have days when i jealous and i wonder how he is with his wife…if they do things when they sleep together. Sometimes i think…wow im a homewrecker. But i know im not the first he has done this with. And i just hope im the last…he has helped me with so many things. My life is going is such a better direction than if i wasnt with him. He helps me see things in a whole new life. But i miss him so much, almost all the time. Im scared that one day he will say…hey maybe we should just be friends. I seen somethings and heard things that i can never erase from my memory. Things that i cant get over. I truly love him, he’s not the first i’ve been with. But he is definatly the realest. The one that makes me happy. I wish i could have met him in earlier time, that i was older….maybe in the next life. If i had a choice. I would want him in my next life. If there’s such a thing. I would give him all the love he deserves…so much that he wouldnt think twice about another woman. I would make me as happy as i feel with him….help him learn about life, the way he is helping me. What do i do? I dont wanna be without him, but sometimes IM MY WORST ENEMY!!!!!