And here I am back again, once again, exactly where I was.
Try and try to improve myself, and yet fall back down to where I was.
I am tired of living life. I am tired of the pain. I just want it all to end.
If it means the world ending, so be it. Just end my pain, I am begging you.
Please, anyone out there, end my pain.
How come others get to live a happy life while I have to suffer?
How come every day I wake up and I feel nothing but intense pain and regret that I woke up.
How come they get to be happy after leaving me behind to suffer?
I just want it all to end. I am tired of this pain. I am tired of this life. I wish, I just wish for all the pain to end.
My heart can't take it any more.
There is no point in living. What exactly is the point in life?
All it is is constant suffering with no happiness.
I am not dead, yet my heart feels dead. I feel dead on the inside. My heart feels so heavy.
Once again I am wondering, why are some others so happy while others suffer?
If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have ever said hi to any of you. You didn't bring me any happiness, just a lot of pain and nothing more.
No one knows of the struggle I go through, so all day I have to smile and pretend that I am completely okay when on the inside I am crying and dying.
All I ever wanted was to be happy man. That's literally all I wanted. Instead all I get is people who are broken. They come to me and I fix them. And then it is goodbye. Was I destined to become a healer?
I just want to curl up in a hole and disappear from this world. Can someone please pray for me?
Why did this happen? Can I go back in time and unmeet you all? I wish I could.
I never expected to live this long. I got better, I swear I did. But now I have come full circle again. What did I do to you that I deserve this? All I did was try to help you.
There is no one left. I can't talk to the only people left. There is nothing to be done. I no longer am willing to rant. I don't want to be vulnerable. I just want to cry. I just want to disappear off this Earth.
Can you help me? I am falling down off the edge again.
I have fallen and can't get back up. Where is my life man? Where is my happiness? Heck, where is my normal life?
Just crying crying and crying. Leaving abandoning.
Depressing. Anxiety.
Watch all the people that are going to care about me if I were to disappear. But do they care now? No.
I can't give pain to people who care about me. That is my biggest problem.
If that wasn't a problem, I would have been free. And instead, here I am. Writing this out instead.
Why did you have to stop talking to me? Why did you have to be mean to me? Why did you have to use me to make yourself feel better?