Why me always?
I seriously don't want to be a fool and keep telling people around ohhh bad things happen with me only,i am always correct but my destiny is to be blamed.
I know there is my fault but its really tough for me to take the blame since childhood i have always blamed others for everything if there was no people involved i blamed god for it.
I know i have ruined the opportunity my parents gave to me and i feel really sorry for it. They are also sad even more than me but i just failed and its the only truth we have to cope with it whether its digestable or not we have to deal with it.. I must tell that its not just a hoax that god lives with us in our parents form, it is really true .even after giving me a chance which i wasted they are ready to give me one last chance nobody would ever do this but a god which is our parents will.
I am really shattered to see them giving me a fake smile just to calm me down. I also try to be normal but when i reach my room i cry Instantly its very tough to pretend you have moved on and happy. My nights are full of sorrow and disheartened pain.
I always want to think positive but i end up thinking about taking my life.
I know it will cause them more harm and misery and thats the reason i am able to write this. I know if i become more serious and dedicated i will make them proud and fulfil our dream but i am just so afraid of failure now.. For a person like me who never faced failure before its just so freaking tough to let it go and work for it
I just want my parents to shine again as they used to after seeing me succeed .i know i am already late but i will definitely work for their happiness i have caused them a lot of pain. But i promise now i will never let them down now.. Afterall its your parents only who are worth your sacrifices in this world.
Am i right?
Please help and suggest me ways to improve myself