I can’t remember a time when someone actually cared about or loved me but this person does. Here I am hurting the only person that loves and really cares about me. I’ve been so self destructive not only hurting myself now but in the long road. I don’t want to hurt them but I don’t know how to change and I’m really going through something that I won’t allow myself to come out of. Thinking of suicide again. I understand that’s so dramatic but I don’t want to be around. I feel desperate. I have a horrible support system. People only want to know things about me not know me. They want to use me sexually or for some faulty power that they receive from battles in their own head to empower their ego. Then others that should be there for me but are stuck mentally somewhere between blaming their parents and having a grand amount of jealousy for others, and somehow it’s taken out on me. Funny how you think you’re filling one hole and you’re only creating another. I am grossed out by my actions but I only continue. I’ve lost all self respect, morals, values and I’m slowly falling apart. Just another negative selfish