everyday I wake up and don't want to leave my bed I have a sickness in my stomach in just the thought of having to go to school and put on a game smile it's killing me slowly I come home everyday depressed and feel as if I want to self hall in the end I do sometimes it hurts but it helps I want to talk to someone but I do not feel comfortable for me or the person I'm talking to I feel invisible which isn't necessarily a bad thing because I prefer to be alone and have time to myself and talk to myself but sometimes being alone is worse than not talking to someone the only person I trust to talk to is myself and I don't know how I could change that I have major trust issues but I just leave them I have anxiety and panic attacks a lot but I just dismiss them I act as if I'm okay to fool others and sometimes myself feeling nothing is worse than feeling how I do